So, What's your Proposal?
Shifting High-conflict People From Blaming to Problem-solving in 30 Seconds!Book - 2014
"Blame abounds! People confront us at work, the store, and online. Nerves get on edge. We get stuck blaming others for anything that goes wrong. With high-conflict people increasing in society, the twenty-four-hour news cycle, and social media, we hear constantly about the worst behavior. The temptation is to react and blame. So, What's Your Proposal? shifts the conversation from the past and blame to the future and problem-solving. It teaches a simple technique that helps the reader stay calm and confident, while keeping the focus on solving problems. The reader will earn respect-many times in just thirty seconds. "--
Complain! Complain! Complain! Have you ever dealt with high-conflict people who blame you or others for one problem after another without taking any responsibility themselves? Don’t you feel like wringing their necks?
Instead, consider the simple method taught in this book for getting them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else. Get them to quickly focus on the future, take responsibility and contribute to finding solutions to problems including those they created themselves or any problem.
When people complain and blame you, you don’t need to defend yourself or get angry back. Just calmly say: So, what’s your proposal?” and focus on teaching the simple 3-step method explained in this book. This method will help you stay calm and confident, while earning the respect of those around you even those who want to blame you!
And blame is abundant these days! Every day dozens, if not hundreds, of people confront us at work, at the store, in our communities and online. Nerves get on edge. More and more people get stuck blaming others for anything that goes wrong. With high-conflict people increasing in society, with the 24-hour news cycle, and with Twitter, Facebook and the Internet, we hear constantly about the worst behavior of other people and dozens of terrible problems. The strong temptation is to react and blame others back. However, this just feeds the problem.
This book shifts the conversation from the past and blame, to the future and problem-solving. The book teaches a simple method which can be used by almost anyone. It will help the reader stay calm and confident, while also keeping the focus on solving problems, rather than blaming people.
But it takes practice, which is why this book gives so many examples. The reader will earn the respect of those around him or her. We have seen it happen over and over again many times in just 30 seconds.
Another helpful tool to communicate effectively with high-conflict people is BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Hostile Email, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns, also by Bill Eddy.
Offers strategies for dealing with high-conflict people, including shifting the focus of a conflict to the future, taking responsibility, and finding effective solutions to problems.
"Upset people tend to focus on the past in a conflict and often make it personal. Instead of criticizing them, this book teaches a simple method of shifting the focus back to problem-solving and away from all the blame. This book provides examples to help the reader stay calm and confident in various settings with high-conflict personalities or emotions involved"--